Missed Movie Opportunities or Avoided Disasters?

I have been known to be head strong regarding particular movies. As a child, I hated “Dumbo” and refused to watch it. Later in life, I attribute this to my obesity which made me look oddly similar to Manny on “Modern Family.” There are a few movies I vowed to never see and, head strong as I am, I have made it until now. Which one should I give a chance?

(1)    STAR WARS EPISODE III: REVENGE OF THE SITH

Upon walking out of Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Horrible Romance in a Field Scene, I vowed to never watch the sixth(third?) installment. Never a big “Star Wars” fan outside of “The Empire Strikes Back”, I was talked into seeing Episode 1 and Episode 2 in college and sorely disappointed by pathetic dialogue and character development than makes a “Robot Chicken” sketch seem deeply profound. I then vowed in a spit promise, meaning my friend Andrew and I spit into our hands and then shook on it, that we would never see Episode 3. Six years later, Andrew admits he watched in on television but I have never seen it. Sadly, I hear it’s the best of the three new Episodes.

(2)    INDIANA JONES 4 KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL

While not a big “Star Wars” fan (see above), Harrison Ford to me was the epitome of awesomeness as Indiana Jones, a person who made me think being a college professor would be a lot of fun! (Note: I have still not recovered from those high expectations). I was intrigued by the fourth film. Bringing Harrison Ford back? Ok, I’ll give it a chance. Adding Cate Blanchett, one of my favorite actresses, in a caricatured role? Sure, if she can play Bob Dylan brilliantly, why not an Indiana Jones villian? But then there was Shia LeBouf. I missed Shia’s Disney years, and am okay with “Disturbia”, but I just can’t get aboard the Shia train (though it is probably a pretty exciting, booze-filled ride given his intoxication arrests in Chicago). As opposed to Star Wars Episode 3, I have not been told by a single person that this film is worth seeing.

(3)    AVATAR

How am I like the indigenous tribes of Subsaharan Africa? Combined, we are the only people who haven’t seen “Avatar.” At the 2010 Oscars, I was rooting for “The Hurt Locker” but  I couldn’t root against “Avatar” because I hadn’t seen it. A big-budget, holiday release which picked up a slew of awards … why haven’t I seen it? The answer is in one word: Timing. My friends in Nebraska went to see it when I was out of town; I haven’t really seen a movie with my Chicago friends in the last ten years; my family saw it before I came home. Then, when it came out on DVD, I thought: it’s really not going to be the same without the 3-D. It even made my Netflix queue a few times, only to be yanked off by heartwarming family dramas like “Dogtooth” and “World’s Greatest Dad.” (more on those in another post).

So, which should I suck it up and see?

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8 thoughts on “Missed Movie Opportunities or Avoided Disasters?

  1. This is a tough choice, what I can tell you for certain is that you DO NOT want to watch the fourth Indiana Jones movie. I am more disappointed in that single movie, then I am in all three of the Star Wars prequels. That movie could have been my favorite Indy movie, the general idea, the setting, and the characters were all very interesting on paper, but the execution on screen is terrible. Sad. Stay away from it, pretend it doesn’t exist. My vote is for Episode III, though I am biased because I am a huge Star Wars fan. If nothing else it will give you one decent thing to say about the prequel movies. Avatar was good, but the 3D experience is really what that movie was about. It is 1 of 2 movies that I believe have been well done in 3D. The Avatar plot is very generic, but the effects are awesome. But as I said, my vote is Revenge of the Sith.

    • I agree here. You need to watch the third prequel. Yeah, its not that great but you will then be able to comment on the series as a whole. Unless you want to move on to the expanded universe….

    • Your right. If you’ve seen the first two prequels you might as well see the third. It definitely is the best of the three even though Hayden Christensen is still in it. BTW did George Lucas have anything to do with Avatar? There seems to be a pattern emerging.

  2. The fourth Indiana Jones movie jumps the shark within 20 min of the credits. You will then be forced to sit through the rest of the movie (because that is the type of the movie watcher you are) and you will hate yourself for it. Awful. Stay away.

  3. I have not…and likely will not ever watch a star wars movie. I tried watching one of the 1st (last?)…of whatever, older ones last year. I immediately googled if light sabers were real…had they been, I probably would have purchased one to stab myself in the throat with. I just didn’t get it. Maybe they were cool when they first came out and I just missed the boat, but I was sooooo bored out of my mind within 15 minutes that I turned it off and put in Dexter…someone who really understands that you don’t need a light saber to kill people.

    That being said, I can’t recommend the Star Wars movie because I just believe they’re horrible. According to those above (see above) the Indiana Jones movie sucked. That leaves Avatar…but you missed the boat not seeing it in 3d. I vote instead of watching one, you watch them all, simultaneously, backwards. Maybe combined there’s some hidden message about the real rapture.

    Actually, just skip them all and save a few hours of your life for more meaningful things…like drinking beer. You’ll thank me later.

  4. In this order:

    1. SW Ep III
    2. Avatar
    3. Indiana Jones

    I have never seen the 3rd Godfather, so you could do this with Indy. SW Ep II you have to see to complete the saga if you’ve seen the other 5. And it’s the best of the prequels by far. Avatar is a stand alone film for now, so no hurry untilt he sequels come out. It’s basicaly Pocahontas in space, so if you’ve seen the Disney classic or New World, you’ve already seen Avatar.

    • I’ve also never seen the 3rd Godfather. I always meant to but I have heard so many bad things about it. Anyone who has seen it: Is it really that bad?

      P.S. I like to think of Avatar as an updated version of Fern Gully. I wore out my VHS copy when I was a kid.

  5. Pingback: Rebound (Not the Martin Lawrence Movie) |

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